things i haven't shared on instagram in two weeks because i deleted the app

i'm still on desktop because i don't hate fun! i just hate my screen time :(

tiktok is in a toxic love triangle with the united states government and president trump, i was welcomed to my weekly facebook scroll with an ai-generated video of a pregnant cheetah (??), twitter is becoming more insufferable by the day, and instagram…well…its newfound portrait-sized ratio for images is a gut punch.

i won’t talk too much shit, because i’m still active on every social media platform i just mentioned with no intentions of joining bluesky or rednote. during the brief 14-hour tiktok ban, i deleted the app from my phone, leaving it to join instagram in my recently-removed apps.

i don’t have a personal quarrel with my instagram usage, since my problem lies more so in my unbearable screen time. somebody (myself) had to stop whining about my doom scrolling and delete instagram (again).

these impulsive crusades to cut my screen time usually end with an unfinished book, unedited substack draft, or new save file on a video game. and i can’t say that it won’t happen again! but i’m trying, reader.

as of today, i’ve had the app removed from my phone for two weeks, and it hasn’t been terrible. i occasionally need it to confirm hours for a local business or to exchange contact information with a new acquaintance, but i mostly miss talking about my day with the embarrassingly-large number of mutuals in my close friends.

here’s a glimpse of what i would’ve probably shared online in the last two weeks. you’re welcome!

• i rewatched the first season of apple tv’s favorite child, severance. at least three times last week, i spent five minutes explaining a spoiler-free plot of the show to my friends, and my fingers are crossed that i’ve successfully convinced them to join the severance hive. the rewatch completely rewired my brain in time for the season two premiere, so please (!!!) comment below if you’re also watching because i lowkey want to start a weekly chat about it.

• i have to personally shoutout my best friend, bff, soulmate, other half, etc. thee haley duren, who accepted a position as executive chef at cadence. if you’re vegan or live in new york city, you may have heard of cadence, but the restaurant serves a variety of southern and southwestern cuisine. congratulate her now!!!

• per usual, i spend at least 2-3 nights each week at the club to see my talented friends that dj, so i have to share one of my favorite sets. chelsea killed it during her debut at the lot radio, and i was there! you can see me bopping around for most of the video, especially near the 33:00 timestamp.

• last week, i did an incredible double feature to watch hard truths and one of them days with my friends. oh my god!!! what a fun time. read nadira’s fun review of the buddy comedy for slate and take some time to watch the press videos starring keke palmer, sza, and issa rae. njera perkins said it best in her article for huffpost: we need more black women buddy comedies.

• 2024 was my year of embracing drama — in the movie or tv series way, don’t worry — and hard truths reallllllllly confirmed that i enjoy the genre. i’m *not* that surprised that marianne jean-baptiste’s stellar performance is being paid dust *cough* because you know how these voting institutions treat black protagonists and supporting characters. try to catch it in theaters if it’s playing near you!

• did y’all see the nintendo switch 2? after being bullied for too long, nintendo said, “here, damn!” meanwhile, i’ve dusted off my switch to start a new game in pokemon violet, and i bought a space for the unbound. twitch stream soon, readers?

• the monkey trailer…actually looks like a good time? and theo james and tatiana maslany are booked? i’m seated! not to mention, “the monkey that likes killing our family….it’s back” is the new “he was in the amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders just before she died.”

• do yourself a favor and watch takuya nakamura’s set for elevator music. that trumpet and jungle music combination is lethal!

• this month, i’ve been planning my joint birthday party slay with my sweetie pie, tess. we hosted a 2014-themed party for our birthday last year, and this year…let’s just say it’s going to get goofy. if you’re in the nyc area, stay tuned for invites!

• speaking of birthday parties, my aquarius sister ashley held her birthday bash at my bushwick haven moodring with an incredible lineup. all of the talent (ag, chelsea, petal, brydecisive, shekdash, and tromac) held the dancefloor down all night, and tromac hosted a set for the lot radio with cadeem lamarr the following day. you already know what i’m about to say! go watch it. i mean, who else opens a show with a jersey club remix to martin luther king jr’s “i have a dream” speech?

• it’s veganuary! i celebrated the month by eating so much tofu.

• is anyone watching peacock’s laid? the comedy show follows ruby (stephanie hsu) as she realizes that her past sex partners are mysteriously dying in a final destination way. her bff, played by zosia mamet, is one of my favorite supporting characters, and i am crossing my fingers and toes for a season two renewal.

• one of my favorite aspects of instagram’s story feature is to subject my followers to my spotify recommendations, whether they’re being taken seriously or not. highlights from this january consist of kari faux’s lowkey superstar and real b*tches don’t die, kali uchis’ isolation, and sremmlife by rae sremmurd as the album approaches its 10-year anniversary. obviously, i’m eusexua pilled.

• while watching john david washington and malcolm washington’s criterion closet picks, i was immediately charmed by their dynamic. i could listen to these brothers talk for hours about growing up with “big zel.”

• icymi, golden globe winner sebastian stan received his first oscar nomination for his portrayal of donald trump in the apprentice. my shaylaaaaaaaaaaaa! i’m so proud. i’ll spare you all from my y/n-type yearning for sebastian stan’s bucky barnes but just know that i could’ve told you that seb is a star after watching captain america: the winter soldier. even though i haven’t watched the apprentice yet, i have checked a different man from my watchlist. congrats to my romanian fave!

  

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